wilted_english_rose's Datingish

What is love?

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 08:59:32 GMT

Yesterday I had a really bad migraine because I got really upset at work the day before…but that’s another blog…but my boyfriend has a cold…not a bad cold, just an annoying one. He’s working so hard bless him and so worried that he’s neglecting me that he’s running himself into the ground.

He came over last night, he didn’t get home until 9.45pm because he had too much work to do but I had dinner ready for us and my parents (even though only my mum ate it because my dad is a bit of a dickhead…that’s another blog too) so we had enough time to spend together because we don’t get to see each other as much at the moment.

We went to bed gone midnight but I knew he was uncomfortable and was going to have a rough night so I put Thundercats on and positioned myself so he could lie on my chest and sleep. Even though I still felt quite rough, I probably slept for about 3 hours total all night because the rest of the time I was stroking his back and head and making sure the covers were on him when he kicked them off because I knew he’d get sicker if I didn’t.

I think that’s what love is. It’s when you put the other person ahead of yourself even if it hurts you to. I mean it can be smiling whilst your boyfriend is talking to his attractive friend who obviously has a crush on him just because he doesn’t see it and you don’t want to upset him. It can be skipping something you’ve planned for months and were excited about because your partner didn’t feel well. It can be signing off a friend because you know that being friends with that person will upset them. It can be moving to another country away from your family and friends because you know that it will be better for your partner in the long run.

I think love is such a complicated thing that you can’t really put into words but I think actions do represent what love is and I think willingly putting someone first without even thinking about it is a sign of devotion that no one can explain in words.

Soulmates...not what you think

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 17:44:42 GMT

If any of you have read Plato or Murakami’s Kafka on the Shore or watched Hedwig and the Angry Inch, as well as many other sources…you would know about the theory of the three sexes.

According to Plato, there were three types of humans…one, which looked like two men, with two faces, four arms, four legs and two lots of genitals, stuck together back to back, another which was two women back to back and a third which was a man and a woman back to back. One day, when Zeus (replace with all other gods that have been placed in this story) was scared and angry with humans. He was afraid of their potential and he tore them apart so they were 2 beings…what we now see as humans.

It is believed that our soulmate is the other half of our previous being and that Zeus scattered us all over the world so we had to work hard to find our other half.

It’s an amazing story and explains sexuality in the most beautifully simplistic way and shows that sexual preference is natural and inherent and not a choice. It also makes you believe there’s only one person in the world for you and that you are only a complete person when you find that other person.

I love the story. I think it’s interesting and contemplative and expresses desires of human nature that we can’t explain.

However, it is a story. It’s a man made story! And it’s also a story, which does not take any stance in religion particularly a Christian religion.

I am writing this post to make a point I think and I think that point is that people interpret things to what they want them to mean. I mean that in the sense that over the years people have wanted to express themselves in an absolute so when they find someone they love and can’t imagine living without, they call them their soulmate. Now, the original source has been forgotten by most, which means the rest of the story is avoided.

I don’t believe in soulmates. I don’t like the idea that we aren’t sufficient enough on our own and that effectively we’re half a person until we’re in a relationship. I also don’t like the idea that if you don’t find that other person who is “perfect” for you that you will always feel a lacking in your life.

I do however believe in love and finding someone who is perfect to share your life. I’m not saying it will only be ONE person who will have that ability. What I’m saying is that its easy to misplace your feelings and exaggerate them because of an ideal you set yourself and that can and probably will lead to disappointment.

There are other implications to this story and the belief in it that I have hinted at in this story e.g. that if you are a Christian ultimately you shouldn’t believe in the story…but I will not delve into all of them. I think I just want to say that you shouldn’t put pressure on a relationship. You should accept it for what it is and that might mean that it is amazing and perfect. The more you think or believe that the person is your soulmate the more upset and disappointed you’ll be when little things start to bug you and will possibly lead to the end of a perfectly good relationship because you are expect it to be something ultimately impossible.

Just love to love not because you think you should!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 17:39:03 GMT

Already have a Xanga blog with the same name but thought I'd try this Datingish thing